The Chaotic Adventures of Ori
by TheLaziestManAlive
Summary: When the author can't even be bothered to put any effort into the description, you know it's gonna be good.
1. Prologue

It was a dark and stormy night... (What, it's relevant. Okay, maybe it's overused, but it's important to the story.) Anyway, Naru sat atop a cliff, she embraced the raindrops hitting her like bullets despite the sharp, but short sting of pain they brought. As she embraced the descending rain, she brought herself to say in only her deepest thoughts, _I'll probably get a cold if I keep doing this every time it rains._ Those thoughts just so happened to be shallow.

Naru got up, ready to return to Swallows Nest when she was suddenly wearing a white leaf as a pair of goggles. "Ack! Get it off me, get it off me!" Naru tumbled down the hill like a ball. Eventually, she stopped rolling and removed the leaf from her eyes… and just stared at it.

Before long, the leaf she held in her hands began to glow and soon turned into a child. "Oh, my God…" Naru muttered. She started to become a broken record, growing louder every time she said it. "Oh, my God… Oh, my God!" She couldn't keep the child's adorability from getting to her and welled up like a child upon seeing their dead mother. She held the child to her chest. "Screw your parents, I'm keeping you!" she wailed.

Ori jogged outside to look at the sky blue sky. (Great description, I know.) The sun shined as bright as his lit-up face. "Mama!" Ori called. He sprinted from the house to the tree where Naru was, hopped onto the swing, and launched himself into her chest.

"Ack, get it off—oh, it's just you, Ori." Naru let Ori sit upon her shoulders. She picked a fruit from the tree and tossed it to him. "Hey," she started, "you know how we always eat all the fruit from the trees, even if we're not hungry, giving in to our gluttonous desires and essentially strip ourselves of the food we might need in the future?" She stared at Ori, and he returned it, for God knows how long. Then, Naru's face lit up. "LET'S DO THE SAME BUT OVER THERE!" She pointed to a tree-filled field across from them that was separated by a gap. Ori couldn't help but agree with the idea.

"YEAH, LET'S DO IT!" And after what seemed like an eternity, they built it. They finally built it. It took a long time—until night—but the lifting of every wooden stake was worth it.

Ori and Naru munched on the fruits vigorously. "Hey, Ori, could you take these back to the house? I'm too busy experiencing LSD over here," Naru said, referring to the wonderful taste of the fruits.

"Please get some help, Mama," Ori mumbled. He scooped up an armful of fruits and trudged over to the house. He was just in front of the house when he saw a ton of light shining from a large tree visible from his home.

"Ori, come back," the tree spoke to him, causing Ori to drop the fruit in shock.

"Holy crap, it's the second coming of Jesus!" he announced to himself just before hearing Naru's panicked cries.

"RUN, RUN!" Naru sprinted for the house, scooping up Ori along the way and wasting no time getting them inside. "IT'S ARMAGEDDON! RUN! HIDE!" As it turned out, Naru was right.

Later, the glorious world in which Ori and Naru would eat and play in was now desolate. Seriously, there was nothing. Not even the swing was intact. A broken swing is just depressing.

"Ori," started Naru, "I must leave. I have to find some food so that I can feed you and myself."

"Please come back," Ori pleaded, tearing up. He just couldn't bear the thought of never seeing his mother again.

"I will." They hugged, and looking back at her son once more, Naru went on her hunt… or so she called it. "Ugh… crap…!" Naru struggled to pull herself from the tree branch and get the fruits that were just above. The branch broke, dooming her to fall to the ground (so close, yet so far). She'd be coming back, all right. When she returned to that run down cave she and Ori called a house, the latter didn't seem as sad as he once did (because this is a comedy and emotions don't last here).

"So, how's the hunting going?" Ori taunted. Such disrespect.

"You'll have to get them yourself, Ori." Naru sat below her now cocky son. "I'm a fat woman, and a heavy one at that."

"You sure are," the little crap teased. Ori went to grab the fruits—the same fruits that Naru couldn't get. He saw a hole in the tree and to his luck, it went upwards. Ori ascended its hollow inside like a raccoon—not that he wasn't already one, with his constant eating and what not—and shook the fruit off. "Don't see what she was so worried about," the ignorant child bragged, jumping off the tree. Ori jogged home with the fruits in his arms, doomed to discover the bitter taste off, well, doom.

"Mama, I'm home!" Ori said. "I got those fruits. You want one?" Ori wanted Naru to take the fruit. But Naru didn't move. She never would again. "Mama?" Ori shook Naru like she was a pile of fruits from a tree (it all comes full circle). "Mama! Mama, please! Nooo!" Ori yelled at the ceiling. He laid his head and arms upon his mama's big, fat belly and wept before taking a bite from the fruit in his hand. "Oh, yeah, that's good," he said in amazement before he went back to crying.

Ori couldn't stay any longer, and he had to leave, obviously. He did manage, but not without suffering some hardships and injuries along the way—having to pull himself onto a log after days of not eating; detaching a thorned vine from his foot and scraping it in the process. _If this damned vine would just let me go!;_ coming across a big dent in the ground, falling and rolling into that big dent in the ground, and hitting his head on a rock at the end of that big dent in the ground.

Surprisingly, he managed to crawl to the Sunken Glades, making it to an ungrown flower in the field. But, Ori knew he wouldn't survive much longer. "And so," lamented the doomed creature, "with my final breath, I… oh, screw it…" His arm finally fell to the ground, and his body lay on the stone ground.

The bud that stood before him bloomed into a light blue flower that gave off a little light. Another flower did the same. Two turned to four, four to eight, eventually becoming a trail that could be seen in the dark of night. The trail eventually led to the Spirit Tree, who let out a flash of light, giving himself a blue aura. "Ori," he spoke, "what has happened to you? The absence of food has left you injured. You cannot pass just yet.


	2. Finding the Light

The sun shone upon the land once again and the power of the spirit tree rose Ori back to life. "I'm alive," he said. "I'm alive!" He gave himself a few more seconds to let everything set in before finding himself sprinting through the land.

He ran through the Sunken Glades, dropping beyond the floorboards that lay between the ground, and hopping from the logs which lay upon the poisoned water, finally making it to a cave underground. "That was amazing!" Ori looked at his hands and wore a big grin on his face, unable to believe his sudden boost of energy. "I don't think I've ever run that fast in my life. Wait, did I stretch first? OH, OH GOD!" A sharp pain went into Ori's leg, releasing from him a cry of agony. It took a few minutes, which felt like an eternity of torture, but eventually, the pain left.

"Alright," he said. "I think it's gone." CRACK! Ori looked behind himself to see a rammer surrounded by pieces of split stone and making a beeline for him.

"I'm comin' for that bootay, monkay!" he said.

"Oh, crap!" Ori ducked for cover when the charging beast missed him and hit the stone next to him.

"Oh, uh, I-I meant to do tha-" Instantly, he was crushed by the stone above him that was suspended by the broken bolder.

"Oooh…!" Ori recoiled at his enemy's sudden death. He stepped over his corpse with grossed out caution and went about his exploration.

He came across this huge log - possibly the trunk of a tree - going upwards. He walked up the log and discovered a small field of grass at the end. In it was this tiny little sphere of light… just sitting there. Ori couldn't take his eyes off it and had to hold it in his own hands. He reached towards it, growing closer to holding beauty within his palm, when suddenly...

"Finally!" it screamed out.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Ori tumbled onto his back.

"My name's Sein, no time to explain, gotta save the forest before our efforts are in vain."

"Listen," Ori said. "That's some next-level poetry and all, but I don't know what you're talking about- oh, we gotta save Nibel, don't we?"

"Shut your mouth, now, before the stompers find us out." One by one, three stompers dropped from the trees, surrounding Ori and Sein. Speak of the devil...

"Oh, God!" Ori said. "What are those frogs doing here and why are they so ripped?" Sein zipped in front of him.

"Fear no pain, for I can light them ablaze."

"Oh, you're gonna set me on fire?" scoffed one of the stompers. "I'd like to see you try. I bet you can't even light a bonfire, you Navi looking mother-OH!" Sein bombarded the gorilla-looking amphibian with Spirit Flames left and right. By the end of the flurry, the stomper lay on the ground with his belly up like a fish. The other two didn't want to share his fate and made a run for it. When they were gone, Sein turned towards Ori, not that the latter could tell since he was just a ball.

"Thanks for all that," Ori said. "Who are you again?"

"Sein is the name of mine, I am the Spirit Tree's light and eyes." Ori felt compelled to speak like Sein, and so he tried.

"I'm Ori… seniori?" Seriously?

"Yes, whatever. Now, follow me, we've no free time."

"Hold on. Where are we going?"

"To the Spirit Tree! I'll tell you why when I need to."

To get to the Spirit Tree, Ori and Sein had to make it through the Spirit Caverns, where the light was the only thing preserving the caverns' beauty. Other than that, the place was lifeless (but of course, it was lifeless, the whole forest of Nibel was lifeless).

The lights within the Spirit Tree still glowed faintly, but he himself had mold all over his trunk. Since the second coming of Jesus that occurred when Ori still lived with Naru, he couldn't help but look upon him with slight terror. He turned his direction to the grass, which was pretty green for a dead forest. No matter how beautiful the land was despite the lack of life, he still had this feeling of unease. It didn't help that he would have to hear the Spirit Tree's voice.

"Ori," said the Spirit Tree, whose voice only reinforced Ori's uneasy feeling. It all came back to him like a Vietnam flashback. The voice; the second coming of Jesus; armageddon; run; hide. It was all there.

"Ori," Sein said. "Are you well?" Now Ori _had_ to scream it to the heavens.

"IT'S YOU! YOU'RE HIM!"

"Woah, Ori, take it slow."

"THE VOICE, THE SECOND COMING OF JESUS, THE ARMAGEDDON, THE RUN, THE HIDE! YOU'RE THE TREE! YOU'RE THAT TREE!"

"Ori, calm yourself." said the Spirit Tree. He did not take delight in seeing his child panic.

"Alright, alright…" Ori said. His breathing began to slow down gradually, and within minutes, he was back to his normal self.

"Now that you are calm again," said the Spirit Tree, "I can now tell you the tale of how Nibe-" He was unlucky enough to be interrupted by Sein.

"Now this is a story all about how/your life got flipped turned upside down/and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there/we'll tell you how the forest of Nibel freaking died."

…

"Um, yes, what he said." This was awkward.

"How the forest of Nibel died…" Ori needed to know what happened. It couldn't have been any Armageddon, for everyone was still alive. If anybody had the answer, it was Sein and the Spirit Tree. "Alright," he decided. "let's hear it!"


	3. The Light Ceremony

The Light Ceremony had taken place," said the Spirit Tree. "All had gathered round. People sang and played instruments, and my children danced about. I believe I even saw one of them doing a dance called 'the worm.' I sent my light into the sky, hoping it would catch your attention."

"So it _wasn't_ Jesus," Ori said.

Ignoring him, the Spirit Tree continued, "All was peaceful... until she came."

"Who's she?"

"Kuro."

A gigantic, dark purple owl planted her talons into the ground, sending everyone running around like headless chickens.

"You cannot sing!" she declared before catching a fleeing spirit with her talon and stomping her to the ground. "Your 'harp' is a pathetic excuse for an instrument!" she said, staring down another, who was trembling with fear upon staring into her white, soulless eyes. She barely grabbed a third victim's tail with her beak and flung him into the air. "Are you dancing or convulsing?!" The fantastical terrorist turned to the Spirit Tree. "Your light killed my—"

"Wait, wait!" interrupted the Spirit Tree. "You cannot spoil the—"

Kuro narrowed her eyes. "QUIET," she spoke in a menacingly low voice.

A spirit with four antennae watching the massacre was horrified, and turned to the captain watching beside her. "We have to stop this monster now!" she said to him.

"Rally the troops!" The captain put his mask on and ran to the field. A plethora of spirits with various masks and markings grabbed their shields and weapons. Coming by the hundreds, they tried to block Kuro in every direction. Surrounding her, the army banded their voices together and let out a war cry in an attempt to intimidate her. She countered with a shriek of her own, and their war cry turned to cries for their mommies as they ran like a herd of deer. She flew to the tree's top and found what she was looking for: the light and eyes of the Spirit Tree.

"Augh, who are you?!" asked Sein.

"This is for my children," she said grudgingly.

"That doesn't answer my questi—" Before he could finish talking, Kuro pulled him from the Spirit Tree. "Wha—hey, where are you taking me?! LET ME GO!" Kuro flew off with Sein.

Sein lamented knowing that life would soon disappear from Nibel. The spirits would grow weak, and the grass and leaves would gradually cripple, their color fading… Everything would be gone. After a few minutes of flying, Kuro finally found a forest at which to abandon Sein. "Hey, could you at least tell me what's going on? OW, OW!" Sein tried to ask before exclaiming in pain. Kuro crushed him with her talons, weakening him, before dropping him into the forest. "What is your problem?!" he yelled before falling onto a small field of grass. There he was, reduced to a crystal ball, and thought to be doomed, never to see the light of day again.

Sein finished the story, "And the spirits, she knocked out about seven or eight, and then she told me,

'Yo, Sein, smell you later!

Laying in the—"

"Sein, please," interrupted the Spirit Tree, trying to prevent him from breaking out into song.

"Oh, sorry."

"So, you were taken from the Spirit Tree. That explains the lifelessness around us," Ori said.

"In order to revive Nibel, we must restore the three elements: one of water, one of wind, and one of fire."

"Sounds like every fantasy game I've ever played," Ori jested.

"Considering we're within one, that's not too far off." He thought he had said that under his breath, but realized he didn't when Ori jumped for joy.

"We're in a fantasy game?!"

"Look what you've started, Sein…" the Spirit Tree sighed.

"I didn't realize he would hear me, my condolences!" said Sein.

"N-no matter. Ori, you must hurry. Restore the elements and save the forest. Our world and I might not last much longer."

"I'll do what I can." Ori said, running off with Sein. If he restored the forest, everything would be back to the way it was. The people, the wildlife, the plants, and maybe even Naru—they would all return.


	4. The Itsy Bitsy Gumon

Chapter 3

Ori and Sein made their way to the Ginso Tree, which held the Water Veil. They would need it to restore the element of water. But when they arrived, it had disappeared.

"What?" Sein asked, flying to where the Veil should have been. "Where is the Water Veil? It should be here!"

"I don't know," Ori said. "Maybe it rolled off the hills or something?"

"Rolled off?" a deep voice repeated. "Is this what you're talking about?"

Ori saw the missing veil being held in front of him and turned to face the person holding it. "Oh, thank you, sir—AAH, SPIDER!" Ori fell on his back and scrambled away from the presumed arachnid.

"Hey, I'm no spider. I am a Gumon."

"'I'm no spider,' yeah, that's exactly what a spider would say."

The Gumon pouted. "Now, do I look like I have eight legs?"

"He's right, Ori," Sein intervened. "Being the eyes of the Spirit Tree has given me knowledge of all species—"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, Sein. Listen," Ori said to the Gumon, "we need that Water Veil, but if you want me to take it from you, you're gonna have to put it on the ground or maybe roll it to me or something. I don't think I can take it from you with your arms still connected to it."

The Gumon had had it. "You know what?!" he erupted, "I was just doing this out of kindness, but given how much of a brat you are, I might as well just take it." With that, he leaped and cartwheeled his way to the entrance to a burrow. "Good day, runt!"

"You did well, Ori..." Sein said sarcastically.

"What was I supposed to do? Take it from his icky little arms?" Ori said in an effort to defend himself.

Sein might have been the eyes of the Spirit Tree, but he wished he had a pair of eyes to roll. Thanks to Ori's unrelenting ignorance, he and Sein had to chase the Gumon through the Moon Grotto. They could have just accepted the Water Veil, restored the Ginso Tree, and be on their merry way and be one step closer to saving the forest, but no.

They came across an underground room, below which lay a lake of poisoned water. Ori saw the Gumon on the other side of the room and rushed towards him. The Gumon pulled a lever that shut a door before Ori. He tried to jam it open but to no avail.

"Maybe there is something that will dislodge it," Sein suggested.

"It has this weird, purple hole on it," Ori said, poking a crater-like crevice on the trapdoor.

"They cover a few other spots, too," Sein said, observing a few other holes like the one on the door. "They must be connected."

Ori heard the sound of crackling and looked up to be greeted by a fireball from above. He jumped out of the way and the projectile hit the cracked hole he was standing on a moment ago. Out popped another mortar worm.

"Hey, Spike, why'd you wake me up?"

"I was trying to get those guys over there!"

Jerry looked behind to see the trespassers. "Wha—hey, what are you doing here?!"

"Another one?" Ori asked.

"Look out, Ori!" Sein said. "You stand on another of those holes in the ground."

"And then another worm will pop from it, too."

"They seem to lead a trail."

Ori looked behind him to see the same hole, leading to the one on the door. An idea sparked in Ori's head.

"Hey, guys!"

"Huh?" Jerry was greeted with Ori's backside and tail being waved in his face.

"If you want me, you'll have to come and get me!"

"Why you…" Jerry seethed.

"Jerry, don't do it, Jerry," Spike tried to warn him. It wasn't working.

"You little brat!"

"Jerry, don't let him get to you!"

"I'LL BURN YOU!"

Jerry rapidly spat at Ori, who quickly moved for the beam to hit the crevice below. Another popped another worm.

"Hey, what's going on here?" he said.

"Hey, Tom!" Jerry said, "Come get this fool!"

One after another, the mortar worms tried to blast Ori to pieces. When the final worm fired at him, Ori leaped to the side, letting the fireball break the trapdoor.

"Wait, did we just…?" Jerry stuttered. He saw Ori and Sein hopping over the remains of the stone door.

"Your help is most appreciated," Sein teased the perplexed mortar worm.

"Thanks for breaking us in!" Ori joined in. He and Sein dropped into the Moon Grotto. Ori popped out one more time to blow a kiss towards the worms before dropping back in.

"Ugh, Jerry…" Spike groaned.

Ori and Sein made their way down to the Moon Grotto, where they saw the Gumon across the room. Ori kindly stared him down, the Gumon returning the favor. Sein awkwardly looks away from them.

"So, are we going to approach him or WHAT THE—?!" Only having looked away for a matter of seconds, Sein couldn't believe the grotesque vision he saw. Ori and the Gumon's bodies changed heavily, their faces chiseled, their muscles bulging—they were like he never saw them before.

"Damn you…um...YOU!"

"Oh, you're approaching me? Instead of running away, you're coming right to me?"

"I can't beat the mess out of you without getting closer."

"Oh ho. Then come as close as you like."

Ori walked menacingly towards the Gumon when he rushed his hand towards a lever behind it and pulled. The two-part bridge beneath Ori and Sein split open, and they were swallowed whole by the hole beneath them. They fell on the Moon Grotto's cold, hard floor. The Gumon landed on his feet, unscathed before them.

"See you later, you glorified, albino ant!" he said before hopping away.

"Hey, what did you just call me?!"

"Look at whom speaks," Sein mocked.

"Well, whatever," brushed Ori. "I don't care if he likes me or not. I'll just take the Water Veil from his grimy little hands and be on my WA-AY!" Ori recoiled away from a pillar that had spiked up. It dropped back down to reveal several pillars, spiking up and down, each the same as the other. Ori felt a chill down his spine.

"This looks like it will need concise timing," said Sein. "One wrong move means death." Hearing that didn't make Ori feel any better. He took a deep breath and ran…not without screaming, of course. He flinched, shook, and jumped, dodging the pillars, a shriek at each one. Just as he was about to move to the next pillar, he tripped over its top, falling onto it and banging his nose. Just his luck.

"Augh, Goddammit!" Ori turned on his back, writhing in pain about his nose.

"Ori, get up!" Sein shouted.

"Ugh, what—OH SHI—" Too late. Ori was smashed into the stone.

"ORI!" Sein screamed. He was devastated to see Ori pushed into the stone…quite literally. After the pillar pulled back down, Ori retracted his body from the ceiling, leaving a hole in its place. He began crawling among it like…a spider.

"What in—" Anytime he was "crushed" by a pillar, he would somehow become a part of the pillar.

Amazed and confused, Sein just followed his lead. On his way, he found that Ori had somehow taken place of the walls. "He must have somehow made holes in the pillars," he theorized. The pillar below him spiked up, launching him into one of the holes. Sein bounced around within it, and soon the entire group of pillars, like a ball.

Finally having made it past the pillars, Ori wiped the sweat off his head and sighed of relief, only to be surprised by Sein flying into his back, knocking him over.

"Hey, what was that for?" Ori asked.

"Don't blame me," Sein fired, "blame those craters you left in the pillars and stones and about everything in there."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Listen," Ori said, "ever since what I just went through, I think you were right about me calling that guy a spider."

"Wait, how did we get here?" Sein asked.

"Crawling around and through those pillars—"

"Speaking of which, how did you make those craters?"

"—made me think about what spiders and Gumon have to go through."

"Those have little correlation."

"Don't you think so, Sein?"

"What is—nothing you talk about makes sense."

"It matters not."

"What—never mind."

Ori and Sein heard a pained howl. They looked up to see the Gumon with his foot trapped under a boulder.

"Sein, we gotta free that Gumon!" Ori proclaimed.

"Seriously, were you not the one preaching about his likeness to spiders?" Sein asked.

"SEIN!"

"Alright fine! Goodness, this child…" said Sein under his breath.

Ori and Sein dodged the falling boulders in the chasm that separated them from the Gumon. Once there, Ori lifted the boulder-like it was a beach ball and almost threw it before considering how little space there was and gently laying it on the ground.

"You were just calling me a spider a while ago…" the Gumon questioned. "Why are you saving me now?"

"The experience of dodging those moving pillars let me step into your shoes for a while. It must be tough being called a spider all the time."

"No one else had ever called me a spider, just you. Also, dodging traps?"

"What do you say, Gumon?" Ori asked, lending a hand towards him. "Let's just put this whole thing behind us."

"Sure, Spirit." He grabbed Ori's hand and let him pull him up from the ground. "By the way," he said, dusting himself off, "what's your name?"

"Ori, lost child of the Spirit Tree." He gave a warm smile. "What's your name?"

"Gumo…" he said, returning the smile, "last of my kind…" He saw Ori's smile fade, and so did his, almost. "Well, see you!" Gumo jumped and crawled upwards, returning from whence he came.

"W-wait!" Ori called out, trying to stop Gumo to no avail. "Last of his…"

Ori could only think of what Gumo had said before leaving. Forget the confusion of his species, being the last survivor of them must be awful.

Once in front of the Ginso Tree, Ori raised his arm and put the Veil into its place. The lines on the door lit up with streaks of sky blue. It flipped upside down, and the halves that formed it split open. As Ori and Sein entered the Ginso Tree, Gumo's parting words added to Ori's resolve. He couldn't let Gumo share his fate with his kind…with anyone else.

**AN: Sorry for the lack of content. I've been procrastinating these past few months, but now I'm back!… Hopefully**


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